Bud and I always believed that one of the key elements in making sure our children became great adults was by surrounding them with extraordinary people. As things turned out, we only had one child, but we made sure he was always surrounded by incredible people, men and women alike! We were of the opinion that when a child sees the extraordinary as normal, it makes for a phenomenal human being. Noah was evidence of that.
The Post:
Today marks one year since my father-in-law passed away. I took this picture several hours before he left us. I’ve never shared it with anyone except for Bud. Noah was a very private person when it came to his relationships with people. I never even showed him this picture, because quite frankly he would have been bothered not only to see it, but to have it shared as it was a private moment. Though to me it was beautiful, because the expression on his face and the depth of feeling he had in that moment for his grandfather, filled the room with their love.
Noah had this look he would get on his face if he was earnestly concerned about you. My sister-in-law Angie has referenced it several times in the last month of how much she missed that face. It was a pure expression of love for the person he was looking at in wanting to care for them and make things better.
For me today, this was the right picture to share given the circumstances of the past year. It demonstrates the life of Bernard Jeffries that he lived it in such a way to have garnered this type of dedication and commitment from his children and grandchildren on his last day on this earth. Everyone standing bedside, in his own home exactly as he wanted it, but not just because he wanted it that way, because that was the kind of love his family had for him and still does.
Noah’s grandfathers were precious to him. I think those relationships were some of the most important to him. He loved them so much it made him always find friendship and wisdom in much older men. Noah had his very own League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, whom he called his Old Dudes. He even had a t-shirt that he wore often which read, “Old dudes rule.”
He adored men like Bernard, my father Wes, Jon Martin (Jack), Mike Duncan, Gary Cole, Jay Stenger, Stan Moore, Jack Concannon, and many not so older dudes like Thomas Dombroski, Eric Rauch, Kevin Widener, Dennis Rogers, Samuel Kimmel, Real Roger Kessler, Dwayne Hyman, Chad Campbell, Chris Runda, Derrik Stansberry… I could list names all day long of men who were anywhere from 10 to 75 years Noah’s senior who he held in the highest regard. Some of them I only know by first names and I’m sure there are men out there who I don’t even know to be able to name them. Men who helped shape who Noah was and from things I have been told particularly over the last 2 months, Noah deeply impacted them as well.
Noah valued the wisdom, strength and bond that came from spending time in older brother, uncle, father and grandfather type relationships. He valued it so much that even as a teenager he would talk about looking forward to one day being a father and then a grandfather. He would talk about the men in his life and list by name the traits and points of learning he had gleaned from each person and how he would pass it on.
My father and Bernard laid the foundation of Noah having an exemplary understanding of what grandfathers should be. To me, the lifetime of the commitment of that relationship is expressed in the moment caught in this photo.
Noah had unbelievable achievements in his life. While he was only 21 he was successful in ways that many men never experience who are now seniors. Yet having lived with him and knowing how much he was looking forward to one day being a father and then a grandfather I can’t help but be profoundly saddened that he missed out on that.
I do however feel very blessed, because I recently learned that Noah’s heart recipient was a man in his mid-60s with children and grandchildren. I found it poetic and perfect. So in some way through Noah’s organ donation he will still live that dream. It is my hope that cellular memory is a very real thing in organ donation and that some of Noah’s extraordinary old dude wisdom and love will help to build the same type of wonderful bond for that man and his family.
I am also grateful in that I do not use words like hope, wish, nor even believe when I state… I know that today Bernard and Noah are together on the other side, well, strong and standing by each other patiently and lovingly waiting for each of us. Both of them wanting us to take our time getting there and relish the joy and journey that is still to be had in this life.
Thank you all for the love and wisdom.
